With apologies to David Gregory, for whom I have a ton of respect, I'd like to recreate for you every "Meet the Press" I've seen since he's taken over:David Gregory: "But first, our first guest is Person A. This person represents some viewpoint that I'm now going to question by pulling quotes and clips out of context. Person A, welcome to 'Meet the Press.'"
Person A: "Thanks, it's good to be here."
DG: "Person A, you were quoted this week as taking Postions X, Y, and Z on Topics J, K, and L. But we've got a quote from you ten years ago stating that you took the opposite positions on those topics. Care to explain yourself?"
A: "Hedge, hedge, wordsmith, conditions have changed, stick to my current positions no matter what."
DG: "So what you're saying is though you currently take Postions X, Y, and Z on Topics J, K, and L, the opposite positions aren't off the table?"
A: "I oppose those opposite postions, and am sticking to my guns."
DG: "Yes, but they aren't off the table?"
A: "I have always opposed those opposite positions, and oppose them today."
DG: "But you're not stating outright that they are off the table. OK, let's move on."
[repeat the above several more times until Person A's genuine smile has turned into a snarky smirk.]
DG: "Thank you for being on the show. Next up, I talk with media pundits with whom I will skewer Person A. Stay tuned."
[break]
DG: "Welcome back, I've invited media pundits who will have nothing terribly or
iginal to say other than to echo back standard talking points to either defend Person A's current positions, or point and laugh that they took the opposite positions ten years ago."
Media Pundit 1: "I'm the pretty one."
Media Pundit 2: "I'm the old conservative fogey."
Media Pundit 3: "My goatee represents the hip edgy contingent."
Media Pundit 4: "I will laugh and encourage the other pundits to laugh at my only-
for-Washington-insiders' nudge-nudge-wink-wink jokes."
DG: "Well, that's all for this week. If it's Sunday, it's 'Meet the Press.'"
[cue music]
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